It starts tomorrow
a new semester
not just a new semester
the Final semester of undergrad
(barring any...missed credits in there somewhere)
Its a bit strange to think of all the changes that have occured
and the differences between a freshman year and a senior year.
I'm finding myself busy with submitting work for competitions
such as the ADAI one
to SEGD competition
and even work to ID magazine
I've nearly completed a new portfolio website
But with everything wrapping up this way
I just cant for the life of me help but wonder what this semester will bring
what new challenges will arise
I think more than anything this semester
I want to focus on ... figuring out what it is I want, and reaching for it
School revolves so much around...
assigning things and putting deadlines on and saying
"this is what you are going to learn"
and I allow for this to transcend into other areas of my life, which is a bit scary.
And as I think a bit more, I realize that
I allow this transcendence by making excuses
...granted, these excuses have kept me rather safe
errr......but rather stuck, too..
they've served me well.
and they're certainly familiar
I never jump out of my comfort zones because I assume
that there is....
a lack of time
that i should be working (no resting, no lazy!)
that i won't be understood
that its too hard
it takes too much energy
But bringing these things into light really shakes their foundation
it clears my sight a bit
and I think that in reality, its my imagination limiting me
The excuses of.... of....
well "no one can have it all, anyway"
"i have to, they want me to"
and "i cannot let them down"
So...in the end.
This semester, I'm going to do more of what I want to do
and a little less of what i'm told to do
(sorry mom, I know that's against the "do as you're told" motto"
Sunday, January 13, 2008
On a new semester
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3 comments:
I'm sure it's hard to believe that the final semester is here, and even though I didn't know the freshman KT, I can only imagine that you are an even more amazing person now. The balance between what you want to do and what you should do is always a hard one (something I struggle with quite a bit as well!), so never doubt that you have plenty of support, whether it be someone to go do what you want to do with, or someone to encourage you to get done what you need to do! :)
I think this is an amazing post. As someone who knew you....when you were a fresh 19yr old second semester sophomore until now....my, my how the times have changed...and so have you.
You're an amazing woman, and have done amazing things. But I think this new-found idea of "taking life by the horns" and actually saying "I am going to do what I want" instead of having things told to you, or just letting experiences happen....the good life starts coming when one starts being more intentional on a day-to-day basis in their decision making.
I know this, because I too try to be more like this everyday.
I can't wait to be part of the trip with you, as long as you will let me :-)
Enjoy this time...not only is it a tremdenous accomplishment but it really is just the beginning.
Much love.
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